Just a lil' controversy.

On a more serious note, a topic that has been coming up a lot in the last year or so that has caused a mass amount of controversy, is something I would like to take a whack at talking about. Now I know when I say controversy, everyone kind of sits up a little bit and pays attention. Feel free to debate with me this important topic, because it is in fact so important, I felt the urgent need to bring it up on this here blog.

It is very controversial so if you get offended, please. Feel free to stray to another place.

Here is the topic:

Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga, originally born Stefani Germiaotattaa was born in rural kansas amidst a tornado rainstorm. She and her dog Toto set off to find the death star, and ended up at Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory where she made Hershey's Kisses until she got kicked off the Biggest Loser for taking dietary supplements. She then found her way onto a stage somewhere where people could see, dressed in nothing but a taxidermy rat and a bottle of Gerber baby food, where she decided to just "go with it" and sing about STD's or something.

Maybe that is a tad fabricated, but I looked her up on Wikipedia, and that was far too much reading. Because I only know so much about her Willy Wonka lingerie past, this completely makes me utterly unqualified to join in the discussion about.. her in general, but this is my blog, and I will do with it what I want.

It seems to me she started out as a small fad. I remember hearing that song about dancing in the club, and her shirt was upside down and her phone was gone. Something along the lines of that. That song has been done one thousand and one times though, so it never really stuck in my head. Then came the song about Poker Face, which I later learned to be something so shocking, I almost gasped when I found out. I remember watching a clip of the video, where she was like, in a pool. Then there was a big dog. Then she was on fire or something. I'm not entirely sure.

Then, she came out with the hair bow, and wearing leather jumpsuits or something. She started getting a little wild. In my opinion, this was a test run by the record company to make sure the public could actually accept someone so wild. Unfortunately, the scum of America decided to latch onto her odd music like leeches, and she got a little more crazy. It was then I started seeing the stranger outfits. The odd dresses shaped like peacocks, the weird lacey thing, and then just like, a giant balloon or something. This was fine with me, if she likes to wear that stuff, that's okay. Then she started coming out with those songs about Alejandro and doing all sorts of nasty things to a 'disco stick' (whatever you younguns call those) and I was like, "Whoa. This is some crazy shiz up in here."

Then she started running around the world wearing nothing, and calling people "Monsters". I thought that they would be offended by this, but apparently they soaked it up like a spilled Blue Moon at a high school party. They loved that stuff. Her tunes are catchy, and I have caught myself humming the words to one of her songs about rough sex and dirty nasty chlamydia or whatever it's about. It's pop. I don't think it's about anything.

So I decided to look up a few more videos. They seemed to be quite popular, and I rather enjoyed the video for 'Telephone' even though the first part was a little offputting. Then I watched the one for 'Alejandro'. This is where this blog post was formed.

Just watch it for a few seconds. The intro is unbearable.. but finish it off to at least the part where she is being raped by would-be neo-nazi's in some sort of cheap Ikea bed.

This is the part where you click here.

....

Right? You are just as confused as me? I get the first part. Maybe she is jumping on the vampire bandwagon by coming out of the futuristic alien coffin things. Then it gets all sorts of flavors of crazy when all the creepy dudes come out and grab her all inappropriately and I feel like my eyes will drip out of my head because this is just the worst thing I have ever seen. Then she gets in this latex red nun costume or something, and she goes all up and out and does some stuff, and I just had to turn it off because I was so crazed and disturbed. I did not like. And I never saw anyone named Alejandro in this video. Maybe all those dudes were Alejandro? I just don't know! I need Cliff's Notes for this video! WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Basically, I don't buy into the whole "I was born as Lady Gaga" crap whoever controls her is trying to throw at me. "Lady Gaga" was born in a boardroom by a bunch of suits who wanted to make big bucks, and Beyonce and J-Lo's ass were not cutting it anymore. They threw in some poor white chick, put her in a turkey costume covered in glitter, and everyone loved it. But! They got what they wanted, because she is definitely a household name, and no one will stop talking about her until she dwindles into a somewhat irrelevant existance.. like someone that this Lady Gaga reminds me a lot of..